Facing One's Fears: Going Back to School

bcc

Stephen C. & Adam D. stand proud at Bristol Community College

If you have ever thought about going back to school to further your education or learn a new trade, especially after being out of school for a number of years, you may wrestle with thoughts that it may be too difficult or too expensive. Perhaps there were past struggles with fitting in, completing course work, or failure. Now imagine facing these fears while recovering from a psychiatric disability with co-occurring dependencies such as a drug or alcohol addiction. Adding to this scenario may be feelings of a fear of relapse or your illness intensifying. With these challenges, the courage and fortitude that you need to take action is significantly intensified.

A Program of Assertive Community Treatment (PACT), located on Purchase Street in New Bedford, Massachusetts, the Southeast Mobile Treatment (SEMT) Program began serving clients with severe and persistent mental illness in the Greater New Bedford and Fall River communities in May, 2003.
 
Using a multi-disciplinary team approach, SEMT staff members provide individuals with comprehensive, community-based mental health treatment, rehabilitation, and support. The team acts as the clients’ primary service provider and is responsible for helping them to meet the needs and challenges of community living.
 
Through SEMT, clients are given support and encouragement, while being taught effective strategies as they work to reach their goals. One such goal may be contiuing their education. Through interview, Adam D., 30, a business major at Bristol Community College (BCC), Randall J., 33, barber-in-training at Rob Roy Academy, and Stephen C., 25, human resources major at BCC share their stories about facing their fears and going back to school. These three men have collectively lived with diagnoses such as manic-depression, bi-polar disorder, schizo-affective disorder, paranoia, clinical depression, and post traumatic stress syndrome. If this were not enough, they are simultaneously in recovery from alcohol, drug, gambling, or food addictions; some a combination of the aforementioned. Nevertheless, each has successfully faced their fears, made a commitment to change, and took assertive action. Here are their stories:
 
RR:  What motivated you to go back to school?
 
 Adam D.: “I’m dissatisfied with my life as it is. I want to have a real life. I mean being on SSI is a help, but after you pay the rent there isn’t much left. I figured that if I could get a degree in business I could improve my living situation. Besides, I want to meet a nice girl and the type of girl I’m looking for is probably going to college.”
 
Randall J.: “That’s easy. I’m sick and tired of being without any money. By the middle of the month, I’m broke. SSI doesn’t do it. I wanted to find a profession that people always need. At first, I though about being a plumber, but I decided on going to barber school. I like it. The other students are friendly and the instructors are good. I’ve already given my Dad two haircuts.”
 
Steven C.: “I’m 25. I’m living with my parents and I’m always broke. If I don’t get an education, I’ll stay stuck where I am. I love my parents but I don’t want to spend the next ten  years with them. Getting my own apartment is important to me. I’m a people person and I thought human resources would be a good match.”
 
RR:  How are you paying for your courses?
 
Adam D.:  “At first, this was a real problem. Then, someone who helps me told me to make an appointment with Mass Rehab, and I did. I learned that I qualified for financial assistance.  I went to the financial aid office at BCC where I go to school and I filled out the application forms. This took some time and effort, but I got it done.”
 
Randall J.: “I applied online for a Federal Grant. They replied that they had received my application but that I had missed the deadline. People who have the same grant told me to appeal the decision. That’s what’s going on with that. Other students told me that you almost always get the subsidy if you appeal.”
 
Steven C.: “I found an assistance program called PAATH. I went to the financial aid office at BCC and found out that I qualified for this program. I’m hoping to get funding through PAATH for next semester too.”
 
RR: How did you overcome your fears about going back to school?
 
Adam D.: “You know, to be honest, I really haven’t. In my mind, I still think that something is going to happen and I won’t get credit for these courses. This is something that I have to struggle with every day. Despite the fact  that my professor called me to tell me that I’m the only student in my business math class who scored 100% on all three tests, I still worry.”
 
Randall J.: “I wasn’t really all that afraid. As a kid, I always did well in school. My concern was would I be able to stay well and not relapse before I finished the course. So far, so good, and I’m enjoying going to school every day. It’s fun.”
 
Steven C.: “In the past, when things got difficult I’d just give up right away. I’d blame my illness or something outside of myself. Today, thanks to what I have learned from going to recovery meetings, I take things one day at a time. Instead of just pushing the stop button, I let each day play out ‘til the end and see what happens.”
 
As demonstrated in these stories, facing one’s fears, making a commitment to change, and taking positive action are three stages in the process of recovery and in the journey toward independence, wellness, and purposeful living. Congratulations to Adam, Randy, and Stephen for being such inspirational examples showing that recovery is real.

By Robert Rousseau
Peer Specialist
Communications Representative, NBN

haircutRandall J. practices his skills on a client at Rob Roy Academy.